Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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