if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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