the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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