just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
