He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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