Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Randomize
