I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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