I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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