It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My vagina just recognized that song.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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