no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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