Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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