hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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