are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
