i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
