You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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