the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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