i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
