I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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