help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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