Pants 0. Shit 1.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
