They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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