Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
