but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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