Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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