That's intense
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
