I feel like abortions should bother me more
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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