Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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