Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
