how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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