I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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