I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
