He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
