did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize