Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
