dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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