Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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