super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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