I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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