and you said cock pushups were impossible
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
