Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
