I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
