Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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