It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
