he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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