so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want to fling myself into the sun
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
