So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
