Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
