We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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