We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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