She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
