last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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