Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
