No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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