fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
