i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
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Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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