Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
