Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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