the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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