I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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