I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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