That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
