Princesses don't give blow jobs
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
