yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
