Duck Duck Cougar?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
