But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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