I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
