So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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