he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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