I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
