just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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